Saturday, November 30
- Slept throught the whole morning. Seems that my alarm clock had been skiving huh. *narrows eyes at her yellow clock* .Ok, will just run through my day with ya.Coz im running out of time already.(well, as always) *chuckles*
*taps chin with a finger*
Lets see, meeting baby g at plaza singapura for munchies first (im starving!), prolly would catch a movie there.Hmm, suddenly i thought of taking up rock climbing with him, that will be interesting, but futher plans will have till wait till i leave the band. Maybe we'll just take a stroll to orchard, he likes to walk, it might be fun catching up with the buzz on the way, i even thought of a few pitstops.There's a coffee bean or starbucks at orchard point, or a tropical like paranakan eating place sitting in between centerpoint and orchard emerald,then we could stroll all the way to marriot for some cakes! Damn, what am i doing to my blog? Im disscussing uninteresting issues and making it a bore. Whatever. I run out of things to post today. Or is it because my life's becomming duller and plain. Hmm..guess i need to spice up my life a little more then. *gasp for inspiration*
Bernard just called me, im supposed to help him find a girlfriend.And i wanted to help ck with one too.Beginning to fill like a nosy matchmaker now that has nothing better to do but acting like a stupid love cupid (things will be easier if both ck and bernard are gay i guess.Maybe i should seek their opinion with this brilliant idea of mine *making cheeky sound* ). Anyway, i don't belive in whatever love cupid coz they always screw up.At least they fucked my previous relationships.. *flinches and turn away*
*flaps her four fingers up and down waving a small goodbye to ya'll*
background + dido
- Im a stupid bitchy dumbstruck airhead. *smacking her head with her own hand* Why am i always playing inmature guessing game and my poor dearie( herby, means baby g ) have to suffer this all the time (sorry again ok?). I need someone to knock some sense into my airhead. Anyone willing to do that? All i need to do is think before i react, WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD.
Luckily, i had zonk out fast and apologised immediately. But i still think i'm unforgivable, and i deserve some serious spanking, but he 's such a sweetie, he totally forgave my childishness *hugs and moochies*. I felt so stupid after that.I seriously ought to find a track the core of these emotional unstableness of mine and stop behaving like a kid. *mental note to curb her impulsiveness* I have to start with my uncertainties. *nods*
Late late..time for bed.
Better tommorow. *nods head assuringly*
background + clickety sound from her keyboard
Friday, November 29
- Yay! I had finish the whole season of "Freinds" ! Now.. till i finish downloading my whole set of "sex and the city"... *rubs hands in glee* Urgh urgh, don't you worry *waving her index finger*, im not slumming for very long, in case thats bothering you, its just only some kind of financial-controlling-activitiy im practising. Tee hee. You see, christmas season is near, and that means im broke (okok, im always broke..Fuzz off !! ), and its agonising to see your bank account deteriorating to the minimum right.So here i am planning to stay home and spending some quality time with my cat (though he's totally spaced out most of the time..Duh.) watching "Friends", and also, catching up with the ants that had moved in and out of my kitchen (glad theres no sign of the crock ). Gee..Am i pathetic or what.(?)
I went to kinokuniya at bugis on tuesday while waiting for baby g. Saw some interesting books and realised i feel like bringing all of them home. Awww, is it only me or does anyone feels that everything seems so tempting for you to buy when you're broke? Damn, i even tried shaking all this craving for buying things by heading straight to hotel intercontinental's toilet for a poo (though i don't even have a feel yet), And you know what? I so feel like sitting down (that means i have to order drinks too) at the lounge with the jazz band playing on the way to the toilet. This is sucks!
slap me slap me slap me slap me slap me...
dun ask y dun ask y dun ask y dun ask y dun ask y !!
OOhhh GAWD !
Hey, rushing for work now. Oh, heard the door, i think mummy dearest is back !
*scuttles off for her shower*
background + mandalay
Thursday, November 28
- Happy Thanksgiving Everyone !!
Ooh..isn't this great.
*hugs hugs* and she proceeds on..
*kissies kissies* hmm..passionate one eh..
*touchy..ooh TouCHY** ..come on man !! this is it yeh!
*did a little jiggy dance*
Hokay hokay...thanksgiving is not about all these. I know now. Pft.
*scratches head* Where are all the celebrations and thanksgiving feast. (?) No ? Arh,thats so boring. Ck told me that thanksgiving are suppose to be bigger and more meaningful than christmas,but i guess the ppl here are more interested in the prezzies and parties with it. Erm.. *biting her little fingernail and throwing a curious look* Aren't christmas celebrated by christians only? Correct me if im wrong, if thats the case, for the devoted-or-non devoted buddism, hinduism, taoism...etc..or the free thinker'ism to celebrate christmas day, religious-logically, they have a sin don't they? Hmm..
Copy and pasted this..
Tomorrow, on he 29th of november, is Buy Nothing Day! Whats tat? Erm, acording to Adbusters , it's the work of Canadian media group Adbusters who advocate we buy ABSOLUTELY nothing on that day. Ads will be run on national media, groups are sent to malls to dissuade shoppers and a checklist is available for the doubtful shopper.
- Do I need it?
- How many do I already have?
- How much will I use it?
- How long will it last?
- Could I borrow it from a friend or family member?
- Can I do without it?
- Am I able to clean, lubricate and/or maintain it myself? Am I willing to?
- Will I be able to repair it?
- Have I researched it to get the best quality for the best price?
- How will I dispose of it when I'm done using it?
- Are the resources that went into it renewable or nonrenewable?
- Is it made or recycled materials, and is it recyclable?
- Is there anything that I already own that I could substitute for it?
So now you know. *sniggers*
Hey, you're now a piece of info more educated..Yay!
So much for thankgiving. *mubbles to self*
background + charlie parker
Wednesday, November 27
- Im going out with all my darlings tonight. *waiting in anticipation* Hanging out with the gals are always the top of my list. Cindy says its linda's spinster's night.Isn't it bacheruette's (ah,don't bother about my spelling mistakes) ? They are going centro.*makes sulking faces* I think that place sucks. But i have to go anyway.*pout* Hope mummy pat would be there.
- Why does he asked for the fucking manual of coping-with-my-pms' handbook so that he will know what are the advisable things to do to calm my occasional childlike behaviours, when even after VERBALLY telling him ( under he's much persistant persuations ) to just not get pissed off under any circumstances, even before knowing whats wrong,or even when im totally unreasonable (unless i'd abused the respect he earned ), he should just talk me out and i'll snap out of it very soon, AND HE CAN"T EVEN FUCKING FULFIL THAT.
Is that THAT DIFFICULT of a request for your patience?
What the fuck is our comprimising for? Is someone going through some kinda memory relapse or have you not understood when i requested your little patience to ease my occational fucked up periods and you just fucking promised you'll do that? I did promise to control a little more of my ridiculous times,which i did and im still trying and you know that! and all of that, he told me he can't stand me to be ALWAYS like that.Its unfair to someone that has been trying and he just spat on your face like you're fucking dumbass to honour your words. "I can't stand if you're always going to be like that" keeps ringing in my head. I'd grown up to be like that, i told him before, and that he can walk out on me at that moment if he think he's not up for it. NO, he said that he totally understands that it is me and that its not too much to handle.
Think i will believe anymore shit any guy promised? NO!
Sometimes i wonder why do i have to go through all these. After much thought, i realised we had never said "i love u" to each other at all. Funny why he can say all the sweetest things in the world but not a single "i love u".For him, maybe he was just looking for some asian chicks for companionship while he nestle in the foreign place to blend in.For me,maybe im scared to be really involve,after the tramatic past experiences. maybe its because im unsure if he's going to live up to his words of the love promises he'd listed down (which every fucking guy did, and sadly, i always had to made them eat their words), or maybe im afraid if i fell too deep and reel out too much and when he decided to sign the contract for england, i can't climb back up.Maybe, we're not '"in love" enough to say the tree fucking words, or afraid to bear any responsibilities for any one of us. Maybe i should just quit and go.
background+ tori amos
Tuesday, November 26
- Meeting macho wil for lunch at three.Had been slumming at home since yesterday. *craving for the real world* I'd been catching up with my "Friends" too much, i think i need to divert my shutting off from the real world. Supposed to meet mummy pat for lunch today, but she have a last minute appt again. *stretches lips tightly* Ok, i understand that it must have been really important. Wendy's supposed to call me on monday afternoon, guess she'd been busy too eh.So i have to resort to my Sitcom "friends", how exciting is that.(?)
TO : The dumb bitches who's disgustingly uncivilise and unhygenic and like temporarily paralysed at that freaking minuite to clean up their driplets of damn pee on the toilet seat like those dumb dickheads whom they had been screaming and screeching at home for the same disgusting chores they don't owe to do. I have to clean up for everyone before me and its damn pissing me up my head off. I swear, the next time when that happens, im going to get a light and burn the pee,then chants curses at whomever that biologically belongs to.I hope she had rashes growing down there and can stop sratching till she know where's her pee heading into.
EEEwwwwwww....fucking other's ppl's PEE...
background + fatboyslim
- Fucking annoying ;
Its dissapeared for days.
Where's my archives ?
Monday, November 25
- I want to organise games in our party, that will hopefully includes prizes, and definetely increases our budget. *digs for her cauculator*
2 Suites( 2 nights ) + I common room =
($250 x 2) + $220 = Sum A $720
Food catering for 30 =
$26 x 30 = Sum B $780
Presents For Games :Cash or Food vouchers =
Sum C $150
Approximate charges for misc =
Sum D $200
So the total charges ......
Sum A + Sum B + Sum C + Sum D =
WHOPPING $1850 !!
I did some cauculations. It didn't fill in. How How How How Howhowhowhowhowhowhwowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhow how....Its making me going bizarres, i mean, if i thought by repeatingly typing "How" will let the problem resolve by itself, bonker me..*thought for abit* hey,i will do that !! haha.. Lamer lamer lamer... Oh god. Save me?
Background + portishead
- Oops, am i bored or i have this pathetic side of pouring myself into all these cheesy personality test. Anyway, bare with it, coz its my blog anyway. You prolly understands me better from here than anywhere else tho.
What Is Your True Aura Colour?
brought to you by Quizilla
But then again, if i didn't want to expose my eccentric negative side,and resort to cheating, i might just alter my choosen answers to the me i rather want to surface to everyone. Its all what you're reading that you thought u know me deep and well. Only people who've interacted with me witness what made me.. Now, im telling you, i didn't alter the answers. Trust me. * smirks right back at you*
Friday, November 22
- How Funny Can I Get?
Boredom + Tired + Desperate + Creativity self + Trying 2 b funny =......
In the cold storage,while el and i was shopping for groceries, and we finally arrived at the pet's food depatment. There's was Friskies' biscuits and all the nutritionally completed wet food to choose from for our king of the house,meow meow.*applause and woo hoo-ing for her belove cat* But what puzzled me was that el was shaking her head below the shelf of selections..*scratches head*
her : oh my god, how now?
me : wadya mean how now? just pick from one of these lah. *pulls out one of the cans and brings it to her face*
her : these are Friskies. and meow meow only eat Whiskies. *throws me a u're-so-ignorant look*
me : *rolls eyes at her* like our cat can differenciate the brands of his favourites? come on.
her : or he won't eat lah. *helplessly searching for Whiskies*
me : ok,i have an idea !
her : wat ?
me : Y not we just buy Whiskies,coz thats the only brands of cat food they have here, AND i'll alter the "W" to a "F" with a black marker pen when we got home and totally trick meow meow with it? *smirks right back at el*
her : *speechless*
Haha...gottcha !! That's how i perk up ppl's life with my lame jokes sometimes.
It works i tell ya. *totally defensive* I always work !!
*sigh* i am bored..i need entertainment ppl !! *shouts out to the whole lot of you*
background+ nine inch nails
the great below
- I recieved flowers from raymond (one of the customers) again. Eeewwww...thought its advisable to check out what the reciever likes.By the way, im no melt-at-the-sight-of-flower's gal. *rolls annoyed eyes* And its the 2nd time since mon that he'd sent me flowers. Give you and me a CHANCE?? Hope i'll ACCEPT you? Erm, i really don't know when the hell i grant him the courage to approach me this way. But i do admire his courage though. Sorry, but he looks like those dorky nice guy that has never dated in his whole freakish life, which makes me the more heartless to reject him straight in his face. I might accidentally break a vulnerable and fragile heart of his and cause him to deprive from some sort of unknown dreppression which is definetely not what i want. It'll be a whole lot easier if he's those self acclaimed casanova or shamless ahbengish creatures, waiting for me to present my anal self and spit right in their face without hestitations. What i can do now, is to just pretend pretend pretend.Will still wave hi when i see him,bye upon leaving the club, and pretend nothing had happen..Well, sure hopes he won't pop the questions to me again.
background+sergio mendes & brazil 66
Thursday, November 21
- I still owe sis a prezzie.And meiling's prezzie. And macho wil's too.Plus all the christmas prezzies. And im broke. Already broken long ago. *deep sigh*
I had actually found a cool cauculator site. *shows blogger angry fist again* .
and i lost it .Can't find it back. *wails* promise to find more interesting sites soon k.
More about me...
find your element
Working time soon.
- Ahem.I can now proudly flash my wallet to those people who flaunts their their driving liscense at me. *beams at you* I pass my driving test! *bangs head profusely on wil's arm* (he and sisterkins had a hard tim calming me down) I even attempted to do a tribal celebration dance in macho wil's car,but was hold back and seated by wil. Bleh. I had expected yesterday's to be a waste trip down coz i only had 2 revision lessons after the last test, resulting me to be more than overwhelmed when the tester ticked a pass at my checklist's passed box. Should i recieve this piece of good news in the previous test, i might just react normally excited. *chuckles kiddishly*
How i got my driving liscense ;
Spotted poh ah soon. ( his jovial ,how i wish he's my tester )
( he called for my name )...He IS !!!
He was warning me that i shouldn't leave my door opened when i started my engine. ( i seriously pray it did not affect my results)
Step on the clutch, engaged 1st gear, pull down handbreak
Hokay,time to move off..( why are there a guy and another tester outside stopping my car? )
Haha...this is a big joke.Me and my tester got into their car. Blushed, i apologetically lead poh ah soon to my assigned car again.
we were chatting and i lied that i had 6 revision lessons before this test.there was some confusions on the road when i need to filter three lanes at a time.he was blabbering how dangerous i was that i was unsure of my actions and misleading the driver behind. by this time, my heart left half a beat. he was saying how much i had startled him and that no one should drive like that after 6 revision lessons. since i thought he was going to fail me, i told him that i only had 2 instead of 6 actually, he throw me a curious look, and i replied that i had some problem with my acc and therefore couldn't book in time. who knows, he might just gave me a pass because of my honesty, and of course, having only 2 lessons before your test is definetely not a smart thing to do, but if i can still control the car like this, it sure proves my steady driving skills.
Tuesday, November 19
- I overslept! If i don't pass my driving test tomorrow,i bet im getting a new private instructor. *blush* Hokay, will be bring macho wil to Irene today at marine parade.Having another driving lesson in the school later, *realise she's going to be rushing for time soon too*
ThoseBrownEyes is an online magazine that declares the Asian tradition, achievement, ethnicity and culture... and strives to provide equal emphasis on Asians residing and thriving on all parts of the world... not as a segregated group, but as an integral member of the community. Something that i found, you might like them too.
*hands off keyboard,and rushes for her shower*
look back in
- Feeding Updates..
No joke,i was molested by a 12 year old kid.He was loitering around me outside my club when i was on the phone with patrick.I didn't suspect anything ( who will? ),walked back in and stop at catherine's table,bended forward to hug her when the boy dashed from behind and sratched my butt from underneath! If only i'm not and artist,i would've drag him back and cornered him,then i will show him whats the consequenses of the thrill he'll regret seeking.I can be a real anal IF i want to.Heard that catherine helped by giving him a warning to report if he does that again. Lucky moofoo. You better not fool around with me when i leave the club. *narrowed evilish eyes*
Maybe i expected too much. A*mei is not so rock on stage after all. *furrows brows* Think my band rocks better sometimes. *smirks at arrogant self* No doubt, her voice still has my thumbs up, but the sound system sucks up.Plus her over did hairdo, exagerating costumes (reminded me of those canto pioneers who gathers together for thier oldies night concert wearing those shimmeries and glitterings.Yucks! ), and oh, prolly im expecting alot of moves from her too. Pfft. Generally,i do admire her voice, but i think its time to bring her work to another level, its something you'll have to crack your head out for the vital changes during the pitfalls.
Entertainment line lays flat for audiences to slap on it, never the artist calling the shots. Most part, its the glam that everyone pursues, but mountains of pain beholding the fame they seek will eventually dry their individuality, ultimately you're no longer you, but a plaything for the media, press, whoever's watching..Pathetic and small i think.
Driving lesson in the morning.Tg came to fetch me and pat and showed us around his club at Raffles Marina as he suggested we hold our party there.Pretty good place i say.They have a bunch of things we could do in the day,there's their clubhouse facilities and marine activities, etc..plus at a resonable price with previledges we get from tg as he's a member of the club. *swings head swiftly in glee* We have to grab anyone thats considerably good, coz i really had missed out alot with time.We're getting a seaview suite and an additional room. Ace huh. Only prob is that, its kinda secluded, but we figured we should've enough drivers and cars that day though, seriously, you don't expect us to feed them too right. *giggles*
okok..late late..driving lesson tommorrow at 10am. *glanced at the clock on her pc*
emotions of paradise
Sunday, November 17
- I took a day leave for A*mei's concert tonight. Will be going with jen and friends. Don't you just love taking breaks? Slacken me. Totally unforgivable, but *shrugs* it doesn't happen often, so why do you care? Hee..
Things that makes you go Hmmm....
** tarot lady knows there's a foreigner in my life..
** she says sis'el is unlikely to marry local..
** knows cat's reluctance about her bf wanting her to stay home after marriage..
** she even knows i have a not so young man in my life ..
** sis'el has a chance of marrying a millionare..
** states that i'll be kicking asses of any man thats giving me crap..haha..i like this..
Saturday, November 16
- Freakins n Anguish
Alan waiting to kick my ass once i leave the band. ( totally horrified )
Constant uncertainties ( i know its common before you change your job )
My slack self
Will be meeting baby g for movies at tampines.Feel groggy now.Hungry and not fully awake.Lost moolah from majong last night at the backstage. Yes, we are such desperates for majong, if thats what on your mind. Haha, actually, its esther who's excited, she even volunteered to bring the majong tiles, got everything set up even before we reach. *slaps forehead* I will miss all this fun with the girls. Its quite depressing knowing its all comming to an end,and its three long years that ive been in the band.Sometimes i blame my voice for all this, if only i can sing better. Not that im faulting, but seriously, if i was paid higher, maybe i will not leave. Is it ? *searches her soul for the truth* Ok, i still will. *Pffts at herself*
any other man
Friday, November 15
- Now, just when you thought you're pathetic and no one wants to hang out with you.(well,it always happens to me on tuesday afternoon, bleh! )You're all alone in orchard. Bored and bumming around? *bows and directs you with her palm* This place will be cool to hang out a little!
Check, checked, crossed.
Enthusiastic, half lost, a little worn out.
Trying hard to gather the girls, too many ideas, too little help.
*tears her her and stomps around*
Oh my god.Everything's been fully booked ! Hokay..will try the yatch or the hotel poolsides. Worse come to worse,we'll have a dinner function and thats it. *frowns* What am i suppose to do? *lift her head up and look up to the sky hoping she'll get an answer* Nope.Not even a hint. *whines* Anyway,i'll still try tommorrow. *keeps fingers crossed*
jungle jazz ( Theme song from sex and the city!! *blows you lusty kisses*)
Thursday, November 14
- Great day last night. *smiles contentedly* Met sis' el and mummy pat at heeren after work.Waited at Rocky's outside cineleisure for patrick till we decided to leave for zouk to meet meiling,meilian and their bro's wife,pretty sweet girl.I haven't been out for sometime,met losta ppl.Sheldon put on weight and had been retrenched.Besides the missing of sex,i think he's a happy man,he told me before that he wanted to leave the job long ago,but guess it didn't give him a good ending too.Life.
We waited till 1am and george decided to leave for centro,where patrick's still there *nodding in disbelieve that he's still there*,so i told him to meet us there instead.Pfft..I love car rides when the gals are tipsy and we had to move to clubs and had to entertain ourselves to keep everyone in party moods.*chuckles* Cindy's the best when its clowning im refering to.Gotta love her.Met patrick there and he was apologetic.Its one of his girlfriend's birthday and he's stucked there.Nevermind that. *sniggers* So we saw petric and the rest too.I didn't even want to give a fucking look at elton.Reminds me of how sick he treated shan. Pttui !! And Don said we all had put on weight.Arrghh...I have to do something,its getting obvious to the public,when that happens,you know you're really growing.
Pat and cindy followed me to swensens at crown prince hotel to meet sis' el and cat.At last,mummy pat is hungry.I thought she never will. *giggles* Ok,wendy's in the topic at the later part again,pat's ranting mostly and i had to listen.I had lost wendy,so i could only pick things up from pat now.
Everything was great without....
* having to shout when you're in clubs.(i sound aweful now.)
* max messaging me upteen times.(since the last time that u noe,he'd been smsing me for like 10 times "i miz u bb..." almost every day)
Wednesday, November 13
- Last night at Barnone with Who's line is it anyway? was awesome! They're totally worth it($66/person) and all 5 of them were impressively talented actors. There was no lines,no script to reherse before the play,all of it,will be the audiences who will name the scenes,roles and even the emotions of the roles! During the play,the actors will then bring out the humour in their individual role and its like a test of all their alertness for a few audiences kept suggesting sex scene.( oh,grow up! ) I was laughing my way thoughout the whole 2 and a half hrs.
The only problem was that gary and me do understand some of the british slang jokes they make fun of,that wasn't THAT bad tho, well, we arrived late but we found a standing spot near the dj console.THEN, there was this couple who squeezed their way through and stood right infront of us!! Im sorry,im trying to refrain using vulgarities, but this is FUCKING RUDE ! The two morons were even cuddling and shifting their fuckhead so much i have to lean nearer to the singh who smells strongly of his cultural smell.. *spinning head*
Going out for tarot reading with elica and her team gal cat at marine parade. By the way,i do tarot reading for others too,before. So,is interested to see the professional do the job this time eh. *waiting with anticipation* Will be going out with patrick and the girls tonight. Prolly sis' el,cindy,mummy pat and meiling. Ace !
Im a happy girl today. Super ace.
Tuesday, November 12
Another cool links.cool time,cool moment eh?
Great things befalls..
1) elica is in town. *plans to pull sis for some rockedellics*
2)2night IS the night. "who's line is it anyway?" .Barnone, see you 2night! *smiles widely with teeth showing*
3)Had somehow fix the theme for christmas party. *note to self to call tiff for booking of banglows at sentosa*
4)Today is my off day. WWooHHHooooo!!! *beams beams beams*
5)Bought a skirt from zara for linda's wedding.At last! *heart drops intensely at her deficiting amount in the bank*
A new girl came to audition last night. I was not told till the last minute.(who am i to ask anyway?) *shrugs* Times like this makes me want to leave earlier.*sniggers* Im going to miss all these man,all that i had committed for 3yrs will be blown away by the time breeze.All the belove customers,like catherine,edmund,molly,linda,jerry,richard,ellis,mr and mrs wee,tracy and husband,service staffs..etc etc..the applauses and cheers we recieved nightely..Hmm.. *smiles* But i'm glad i'm straightened my path tho,it'll be twice as hard to leave if i decided to drag my resignation.Right. I mean i have to be right,right? I have to focus steering away from my uncertainties. *carries on to meditate on focusing positiveness*
ck is chicky..cute and flurry..lovable and sweet as candy!! lalalala..
this' my blog and i post want i want,chicky ck.
chicky ck aka ck squared (ck x 2)!
i am inspired fries ain't i?
*taps fingers on chin*
background+fat boy slim
Sunday, November 10
- "Theres nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt."
- Jhonen Vasquez
Hokay..time to face my clutters now.. *look over her shoulder at the pile of rubbish and clothes she put off for weeks* All my fault.Me and me and my lazy bum. *pout* Glad i have the companion of jazz and rain. Or else i will end up slumming into the pile off clothes and promise self to do it tomorrow.Thats how clutter started in the first place.Mountains of junkmails or overstuffed cupboards,they aren't just eyesores;they can also increase anxiety.Clutter makes it impossible to get anything done on time.As a result,we missed deadlines,forget appointments and annoy our friends and working associates,all of which cause stress that makes it even harder to get organised.It's a vicious cycle.Messes often serve a subconcious purpose :they hide problems in our lives we don't want to confront. Reconising this root cause is the first step to staying organised.Trust me.
Ok,time to get my hands on it.
song of the black lizard
- Everyone, i can't believe its raining! *does the tribal raining dance* Oh god, am i pampered or just one lucky bitch. It sure have washed away the blues in me. It sorta sterilised my dyfunctional side too eh. *beams*
ok..have to be thankful.. *clasp hand and slowly closed her eyes*
"dear papa god,and mama guanyin, thanks for granting ignorant me a great deal. i sure feel better, thus, alot happier too."
"and i look forward to the generosity of yours,to a happier everyday..* worries to be mistaken by not being contented* .Erm, I understand that you have already touched my wishlist, therefore, i will still appreciate lots if i get downfalls once in a while. Coz i know, somewhere, someone's watching over me. Thanks to all my sacred highness.."
- Rant rant rant...
I just knock off not long.(go ahead,burn my weekends)
I should be in bed.(im going to hate saturdays..)
But im hungry,and there's no munchies.(and im on diet)
There's class in the early morning later. (and sundays..)
*chants prayers for better tomorrow*
dear papa god, *hestitates for a sec*
oh,and mama guanyin,*shuts her eyes tightly*
please bless me with rain and happier tomorrow..
*peeps with one eye making sure no one looking*
and all other tomorrows..if you don't mind..
(will they punish me for my greedy-ness??)
i'll treasure every bit of your kindness and generosity..
(hmm? shit..amen or ah mi tuo fuo? )
erm..sorry,i mean every sacred highness..
*trots back to snugglicious bed*
why don't you do right
Friday, November 8
- I'm chatting with my darling boy ck now.And snacking Laura Scudder's honey musturd flavoured pretzel pieces!! Thanks to baby G for the pack. *rubbing her rounded tummy* I need to curb my snacking tendercies. *wince* Anyway,glad you're doing better now. *hugs*
Funny how two person can build up their bond so strong despite the distance between us,and funny how lonely i felt when my ex boyfriend is always around me.Why is it so easy to see through ppl's life and got coiled up by your own,going after the wrong things for most of our lifes.Funny why we have to be hurt to treasure or why we're always like a toy to the love cupid.Funny why i even find it funny.. *Pfft at herself*
Somthings i should not have done today:
1)my chinese paper 1 (thanks to macho-wil)
2)laugh at wil's lame jokes (some of it,the 'hong zhong" rhyme is funny tho.Hhee..)
3)skip paper 2 for unseen "friends" (im damn screwed)
4)snacked while i chat with ck on icq (u owe me big time friend,coz i'd entertained you)
5)sticking my butt in front of my pc all day. (or should i say,everyday?)
And i hope to not have to get prepared for work now.
*whines* Ok,im a whiner.Whatever. *rolls eyes*
- I told macho-wil im writing something for ck.here's the sketch.unfinished tho..
"You brought the candies.It lit her heart.
Without the candles.Last not the not spark.
And you'd die for her.you blind for her.
You glitter from the skin,through the darkness
from your within.
It floats with the wind and it spins like a dream.
Captivating.Its sweet and sad.A beautiful spin."
I actually had a second paragraph. *narrowed eyes at blogger* will finish it again..
- More links to Jazz FM from Hed Kandi.
Check out Afterlife.I like them.I already have "Dub in ur mind" in fact,downloadin more now...*slurp*
Thursday, November 7
- " Th
What Name SHOULD You Have Been Called?
brought to you by Quizilla
Im structured and clever!! *prances around in her room*
Met up with pat for tea with patrick y'day.Fetch her to meet baka and paper mable at holland v.They came to watch my performance and we surprised jojo at the pub she works in boat quay.On the way there,we went to pick wendy up.Nope,there's not much conversation between the two of us(ha,we're like a joke huh).I told sharon lovely that i need my friend here to do some reflecting. *laughs* You think she give a damn?She's myopic about what she'd planted on each and everyone of us and its plunging our friendship to deeper hole.Am i wrong?have i been too hard on her? It disgusts me when i see the changed her.I'd lost a best friend and i miss the old D lots.I don't think i can face her again.Maybe not now.Im lost for words.
Your Existing Situation
Volatile and outgoing. Needs to feel that events are developing along desired
lines, otherwise irritation can lead to changeability or superficial activities.
Your Stress Sources
Strives for straight-forward relationships, founded on mutual trust and
understanding. Wishes to act only in conformity with her own convictions.
Demands freedom to make her own decisions without being subjected to
interference, outside influence, or the necessity of making compromises.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close
Feels that she cannot do much about her existing problems and
difficulties and that she must make the best of things as they are. Able to
achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.
Your Desired Objective
Unwilling to participate and wishes to avoid all forms of stimulation. Has had
to put up with too much of a tiring or exhausting nature and now desires
protection and noninvolvement
Your Actual Problem
Fears that her independence will be threatened or severely restricted unless she
protects herself from outside influence. Does not want to be bothered.
Your Actual Problem #2
Needs to protect herself against her tendency to be too trusting, as she finds
it is liable to be misunderstood or exploited by others. As a result, she adopts
a critical and stand-offish attitude, being willing to participate only where
she can be assured of sincerity and trustworthiness.
i don't like mondays
" The silicon chip inside her head
gets switched to overload
and nobody's gonna go to school today
she's gonna make them stay at home
And Daddy doesn't understand it
He always said she was good as gold
And he can see no reason
Cos there are no reasons
What reasons do you need to be shown
Tell me why
I don't like Mondays
I want to shoot
The whole day down
The telex machine is kept so clean
and it types to waiting world.
And Mother feels so shocked
Father's world is rocked
And their thoughts turn to
Their own little girl
Sweet 16 ain't that peachy keen
No it ain't so neat to admit defeat,
They can see no reasons
Cos there are no reasons
What reasons do you need to be shown
All the playing's stopped in the playground now
She wants to play with her toys awhile
And school's out early and soon we'll be learning
That the lesson today is how to die
And then the bullhorn crackles
And the captain tackles
With the problems and the how's and why's
And he can see no reasons
Cos there are no reasons
What reasons do you need to die "
Wednesday, November 6
- Will be meeting patrick for tea.I'd urge mummy pat to join us.Hope she'll turn up this time.Had just replied sharon lovely and gave her my blogspot's add.I should be preparing soon.So i admit.I'm a lazy bum.Bleh.
Oh,will be meeting macho wil for dinner too.Then work. *yawn* Then meeting baby G and some of his frens.He wants to fix mummy pat up with one of his friend. *raised her left brow smirking* Haha..wait till i let her know about this.I had taken leave for linda's wedding and my birthday.2nd and 26th of december. Woohoo! But i have to get cracking for the christmas/my birthday party soon. *mental note to do some research tommorow* And i need to get a dress for linda's wedding too. *pout* Means spending more money,hmm..maybe i'll just borrow from someone. hee..
- Ok,i had my english papers yesterday.Don't pin high hopes on me..
found my class and walk to 3rd seat of row one.damn! ive got it wrong?
*walked out to double check my allocated seat for my index no.*
I'm right.Pfft..ok,go in and check again.*mutters*
Dammit.the school had screwed up the sitting.OMG! bad omen? okok,have to calm down.
Shit,my watch is in my bag.i feel so uncomfortable now.
breadth in.breadth out.
which one should i choose? topic 3 or 5? fuck.its 40mins passed and i haven't even pen down a single word.someone slap me please.
invigilator : ok,u have 20 mins left.
*gnawed even harder at the tip of her pen*
breadth in.breadth out.
invigilator :u have 5 mins left.
shut up! ok..focus,focus..
...enviroment.As the enviroment...(blah blah blah)..healthy enviroment.(blah blah)..enviroment..(what the hell am i writing??)
*shuffles herself into class*
great..my lipbalm is in my bag this time..*whine*
ok,i must be calm.its not a sign..its not a sign,gal..
*glance at the invigilator* wonder if she's she a teacher too? she looks motherly,those who attend to her students need. *quickly bend her head down at the papers when the invigilator noticed her looking*
ok..*scribble scribble* have to concentrate..
*bounces out of the class like a little gal who just got out of the candy stall*
Now i still have to go through my chinese,maths and accounts..*chanting prayers*
- "A different quiz, what strange type of person are you?"
A different quiz, what strange type of person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
A dreamer is your type. Seen as "not quite there", you see things that few do. You make people think, and your friends turn to you for insight.
Tuesday, November 5
- I'm bored. *spaced out for a sec*.*awakened by annoyance of boredom* (starts ranting again) And when you're desperate for a company,they're always out of reach. *leans her head back and whines* By the way,*narrows eyes at wil* what the hell is the use of your three phones? *mutters* If you're throwing those lame excuses that all three are in your car again,erm..may i suggest you offer them to my cat,or your doggies?Prolly it will serve a better usage with them,i strongly believe so. *rolls eyes at wil*
On sun,i had a silent war with baby G at bishan's Burke's.Oh don't you worry,its been resolved.So,he walked me to the bus stop,and i happily hopped into bus 88 heading to meet sisterkinny Ivy.
*smoochies on baby G's cheeks before she got up the bus*
the bus is packed.damned. *shuffles herself a little to the back of the bus*
(after two bus stops.....)
spotted a seat.*checked that there's no elderly or pregnant women around before moving up to the seat*
Ahh...all seated.jovily took out her book to read. hmm..
(another few stops later.....)
An old man got up the bus.Hokay,bye bye
comfy seat.*stood up and walked over to him*
me :ah pek(hokkien term for old man),u wana sit down?
ah pek :mai(no,in hokkien).thank you.
(the bus reached a stop and the ah pek alighted)
oops,there's another ah pek. *walked over and taps his shoulder gently*
me :ah pek,u wana sit? *pointing at my warm empty seat *
ah pek(2) :im alighting in a few stops.*grateful smile*
me :ok.*smiled back and also flashed one to an ah mah(old
women in hokkien) smiling at me for my good intentions*
i scuttled back to my seat.(glad no one took it) and began to read again.
by now,i'd already attracted alot of unwanted stares.when the bus is packed,and you're offering your seat to the elderly,doing a considerably good deed i suppose,everyone would stare.*forrows brows*. like you're performing an alienic act thats not accepted by singaporeans.*worries for the bad influence her child gets from this society*
to make the whole trip worse....
a fuckhead got up the bus.saw ah pek(2) standing near where i sat and cornered his eyes at me.knock knock,fuckhead,what is wrong with you? i know what he's thinking.a young bitch who doesn't have the basic moral of courtesy to offer her seat to someone else who needed it more,and sitting there,lamely pretending to read.I hate it when ppl judges me unfairly.*stomps her feet* We exchanged evil stares and sword's eyes for like 5 secs,and the fuckhead went up to the upper-deck. *mutters mutters*
Forget it.he's just a fuckhead.shall not let him get to me...*brushed him off*
An ah mah got up the bus carrying lotsa bags.Needless to say,i did what i should.Even helped her with her stuffs.Ok,need to hold the handle bars now,so theres no chance of reading my book now. *unzipped her bag and slot her book back in* Now,wheres the fuckhead....
numbed in moscow
Sunday, November 3
- Its sunday.There's no rain today.Guess it rains so often on sunday that i took it for granted that it will happen today too. *pout* By the way,i didn't mention that i was spotted on the street at orchard road by some talent scout on monday.(haha,was thinking "you blind?")Sis'el accompanied me to the audition the next day,but only to realise the free grooming course they provided for me is conducted on consecutively 6 sundays,bleh..i had to turn down the offer.My bookeeping class falls on every sunday too wat.Pfft.I have to weigh my prioritise right?but anyway,they told me i can come back any time i want. *shrugs* As long as i don't have to fork out any money,i don't see why i shouln't. *grin*
It always facinates me of whats behind everyone's life.Like when im on stage,watching the customers,seeing their facial expressions just triggers my curiousity of whats going through their head.It makes you ponder,for some,whom at that moment,laughing gayly at some point,was truly a happy person anot.Or were there undisclosed secrets in the real world they live in?What sort of past do they have?There is always a reason for human's behaviour,like why are they rude or selfish,narcissistic,cranky or inconsiderate etc..The thoughts going through each and everyone's head is just intriguing,don't you think?But ironically,if i have the abilty to touch that thought,i would have second thoughts about it.I believe its always he questions that facinates me,the truth hurts. *pffts at herself for trying to sound profound* What do you know little girl.
*sits back and enjoy the splattering sound of the rain*
Arhh..Its raining.Im feeling refreshed again.
Meeting my baby for lunner and prolly follows with a movie.Sisterkin is STILL in bed,as usual. *mutters* Can anyone knock some sense of the timing to my dear sis' head.She's unbelievable huh...thats my sis.hee..*shakes head* I had tapped her to ask if she wants to join us for a movie,but she's too dreamy when answering me,pfft.Think she'll give me a ring when she decided to join me later eh?okie..
tata. *flapping her four fingers at you*
cloud on my tongue
Saturday, November 2
- If you've noticed,i double posted yesterday,which i had to re-post my additional one,THAT is,till now,that i'd just checked,still showing two of the same post on 1st of november.Well,bloggerrrrrrr..pffttt..
Wat happened on friday.....
(My message beeping tone)Dreeep..dreeep..(picked up my cell phone and got all frantic as i read it) ["i miz u bb.." sender:Max]*freezed for a min* deep shit..*throws her cell phone back on the floor* Get lost.
And yesterday at 4:08pm i recieved the exact same thing.*feeling agonized,she tears her hair again*
Will be meeting jennifer(birthday gal),my band gals,sis' el,ricky and shino(whose real name is also jennifer,but had to have it changed because it'll save alot of confusion for the customers and ppl who work with them.Btw,all of the ppl im meeting later,except for my sis who had left our band for SIA now,sings) for dinner in town later.Place,yet to be confirm.Jen wants chinese,so its gotta be it eh?I just love to meet ppl for dinner *cutesy wink*,or lunch,or breakfast,or high tea.*blushed* Oh well,to love me,IS to feed me i guess.*mind drifted to the feast to come*
Ck is an ENTP.(from the personality test i founded and he took it from there).I kinda agree that he's mulititalented characters are interested in everything.Well,everything including those crude jokes or the crap i displayed to him,he's always enthusiastic about anything.Sometimes,he deserved a hug.*stretch arms to offer ck a big hug* And now we know why you can't find a wife! You shit at dealing with long range planning and keeping interpersonal relationships.My advice? *narrowed eyes at ck* Go get a fling,prolly plan a one night adventure!!Woohoo..Oh my god! Get flung!! Lucky son of a bitch,you druggie.(annoyed that she can't enjoy the same priviledge) *mumbles*
Anyhoo,hope you're doing better now alright. *smile*
. ButtCandle, Inc .
Every once in a while, you might find yourself in need of a buttcandle. For reasons not yet unknown.
Friday, November 1
- .YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE.
i'm a ESFP.
The ESFP is warm, outgoing, optimistic and caring--a cheerful person who's always ready for a good time and avoids the company of dreary "doom and gloom" people who take themselves too seriously. Count on ESFPs to settle in occupations which let them be "people people"--working in sales, human services, business, nursing, crisis intervention or the performing arts. They are naturally gifted at observing human behavior and figuring out what others want. Whatever the ESFP's work choice, talking must be part of the job! To be at their best, ESFPs need to be around other people--and this type will go to great lengths to avoid solitude and isolation. ESFPs believe that life, work and relationships should be fun and rewarding. ESFPs are unlikely to stick around when clouds darken the skies for too long at a stretch. Charming, clever and open-minded, the witty ESFP is likely to be seen by others as a party person--so much so that this type may be ill-at-ease in business fields which expect seriousness, formality, logic, conceptual thinking, organization and punctuality.
Well,i don't care if its true.I like!! Yeh! *rocks herself to the beats*
Finally! Ric passed me the whole seasons of "Friends". Woohoo! This will stick my ass home for a long time.PLUS,i'm downloading my own collection of "Sex and the City". *blows kisses at Kazza* Downloading them sure requires patience(alah!! its sure testing them too.) but watching is going to be worth the time consumed(oh, *warning eyes* it better be).Have not taken time out to sit back and couch at it yet,coz i want to grip at at least one whole complete season 1st.Meanwhile,i might have to meet macho-wil to pass him some of our ' "Friends"-ship ' as i haven't got the time to watch it together(our intitial plan).
Fom today onwards,the club that i performs in will operate till 3am.As u know,the usual me..its none of my fussing business right? *wry smile* WRONG! The damn changes affected our performances' time slots.*curses at Quebec* Now,instead of 12:30am,i have to shake my bum till 1am every friday,saturday and eve of public holiday.*bangs at her desk* Nah,i don't shake my bum throughout the whole set,morons.But sometimes when i need a little break,i'll just stand and sing,stripping myself..*slaps your dirty thoughts* Anyhow,its just some kinda shit i get from work at times.Pfft..and its ALways the mangement's(aka the dimwit's) ideas(which also means idiological implementations).Pttui..
Some sms gary baby sent me..*sweet memories floating in her head*
06th sept 10:59pm
-i was having my shitty times of the day and totally dispectful.Vented my anger on the poor baby.Dispite all of the above,he tried to calm me down on the phone and gently tap me to open up about whats really bothering me.I brushed him off with..
Me: there's nothing wrong.i told u b4,i AM like that,take it or leave it.anyway,if u dun like wat u get now,and decided to back off,i wont blame u.im not worth it.
Gary:it wouldn't matter if u weren't so special (smiley face)
24th sept 4am
Me :hey,im still awake,i was hungry earlier and there's no food at home,went to dig the fridge and ate the sausages my sis bought from frankfurt.so im waiting for it to digest a little b4 i turn in.will call u when i wake up ok? (smiley face)
--the next morning,he replied when he reached his work place.
Gary :I bet my late nite sausage girl is sleeping now.I bet she is beautiful when she sleeps.I am bored at work and i wish you were here
2th Oct 07:57pm
--i ended one of my messages with a *giggles* at a silly joke he told me.He messaged me back that he likes it when i giggles,chuckles(i did not save all of it tho)..
Gary :and when u smile.and when u laugh and when u are near or far and when ure sleeping with ur head on my lap *list goes on forever*
Song for entertainment.Guys!! Its u and ur best friend. *handed you her guitar*
background+massive attack remix
nusrut fateh ali khan
- I forgot to mention that on tuesday,i went for a dip in gary's club at Hotel-Intercontinental,alone.feels healthier now.Will go consistently.*makes mental reminder to self* .Caught "Red Dragon" at great wall city's GV Gold class(my first time!).A must watch for everyone.Bonus if u love Anthony Hopkins.I love off days (Dah? who doesn't?),i can do all the ace stuff!!
background+tori amos with sarah mclachlan