"dysfuctionally inspired"

Friday, February 28

    16th feb's show..HEART-TO-HEART-CHARITY NIGHT..

posted by fries @ 11:22:00 PM

    i tried to post this afternoon and i can't. so im re-posting this afternoon's. here it is..

    the last time i bought my lomo, i had to bring it back to the shop coz all my pictures were over exposed. i got my holga last week only to find out that i can't open the back. now i have to bring it back to the shop again. wtf man. so damn suay (unlucky in hokkien)?! what the hell is wrong with me/them? maybe i should claim my transport fare, maybe suggest a discount, or free voucher? argh..whatever.


    you prolly knew about this new service..very kewl, but no, im not signing up for it though. *zips her pocket*

    Create audio posts to from any phone. audioBLOGGER is a service that provides bloggers with the ability to post audio to their blogs from any phone. At the end of the trial sign up we will provide you with the telephone number that connects directly to your blog...all you have to do is call the number and the world hears you. Use it for fun...Use it to make a difference...Use it to make your voice be heard. if you're curious about it, you can check out raymond's blog.

    background + nightmares on wax
    wait a minute

posted by fries @ 10:48:00 PM

Tuesday, February 25

    why? why me? why?!?
    im pregnant, and it happened like 5 days ago, *tears hair out and stomps her feet* . with air (heh.. gottcha didn't i?). my stomache is so bloated that i look like im in my 3rd month of pregnancy. so im pregnant with air and faeces (pardon me, but faeces is already the euphemisism of shit right?) ? argh..im disgusting. but i don't care anymore. i'll rather be in your position (reading this and feeling disgusted), than Be In Pain......!

    *crawls away*
posted by fries @ 3:58:00 PM

    Game Enough?

    .Monster Memory.
    Weird and silly monsters inhabit this rather silly memory game. Who said that simple games can't be funny and animated?

    Be warned. This is not an action game. Actual thinking is involved. Switch on your brain and play this fishy puzzle.

    .JigSaw Puzzle.
    Our rock solid Jigsaw engine adds the true feel of 'real' jigsaws to your web site. The jigsaw comes in various levels of difficulty and can be customised in many ways.


    .Icon's Story.
    hey! i like this! watch the icon's fight! ho! hah! ho! huh!

    background + massive attack

posted by fries @ 2:36:00 PM

Saturday, February 22

    today is my dad's 2nd death anniversary. *closes her eyes and a picture of her dad's face flashed before her*


    traditionally, we must visit the tomb and pray even if we had visit the day before, for the death anniversary, is considered the most important day of the year(besides the seventh month of the lunar celender) for prayers.we like visiting him, it has become a time for reminisce, sorta. i remembered last year, the three of us(with ivy-eldest and el-2nd elder) recollecting the past and chatting to my dad's pic on his urn like he's really there and listening. we still teased him of the way he snored, how he'd always embarrassed us when we were in the travel bus to genting every year while all the other passengers were soundly asleep, only to be startled by my dad's thunder-jerking-snore, and left us wishing desperately for a blanket to camouflouge ourselves from the annoyed few who turn and stared at us furiously. we were afraid to wake my dad to lower down his volumn. all three of us was no older than 15yrs old at that time, he was healthy and fit as a bull then.

    after that, my elder sis would wipe his urn clean with a tissue she pulled from her bag and smile as she said, "pa, remember how you complained about zeck(my eldest bro) to us in the public(i remeber clearly it was in macdonald's once) ? whoa..i still remember how loud you were then, so angry and agitated, even the tables that were at the other corner also can hear you", *laughs*, "i think el has got your loudness dad, she's too noisy at times lah", with that, el slapped our backs and immediately objected what ivy had accused while we all laughed..

    i miss his food too. he was a great chef at work too, i believe. how i wish to visit genting with him and listen to his jokes and seeing his dimples sunken in deeper as he laughed. how i wish he can be able to embarass us in public again. i miss him dearly.

    pa, we all love you deeply, and you'll always be in our heart.

    background + stina nordenstam
    memories of a colour

posted by fries @ 7:36:00 AM

Friday, February 21

posted by fries @ 6:13:00 PM

Thursday, February 20

    lunch at sizzler..

    background + portishead

posted by fries @ 8:06:00 PM

Wednesday, February 19

    is the online storage for unused flash files or work without brief. updated now and then.

    .Bonsai Kittens.
    everyone! we have to stop this! this kind of cruelty is totally inhuman! lets stop it!
    STOP IT!!!!!

    background + chicane
posted by fries @ 11:22:00 AM

Tuesday, February 18

    veging at home, lazing around, reading, napping, revising your work with absolutely no disturbance is the best thing that can happen to some (the rest might be bored by it). having my cat throwing cutsey look everytime he catwalked in is the highlight of the day. if only life can be that simple.*smiles*. you have my hands up to agree with living a more productive/contructive life, because i would only enjoy it every once in awhile, a daily routine of this is definetely a no no for me too. too drepressing.

    the contradicting part of me, is you will never get hold of what's going through my head. yet, you don't have to know me very well to understand me. a brief conversation with me is enough to allow you to enter my world of possitiveness and anti-depressing. i'd been, or trying my best, to draw a line between what is depressing or analysing if it'll draw any negative energy, and then with my best effort, steer away, avoiding it.

    and here, in our life, we see people self torchuring themselves, subconsciously. i had some encounters with people who talk about love all the time, giving the best to the people they loved, but neglecting oneself and got hurt when the love was always in the output mode. ironically, there's this someone, who thought he/she loves him/herself so much, and seizing every opportunity to invite anyone who's willing to pamper and shower them with the materialistic things in life. what about those who always rant about the shitty things in their life?

    there's this common pattern, i believe, we all witness all the time. people who are in(or who think that they are in) a deperate situation. they blame anything/anyone but themselves and whats worst, they make excuses to act impulsively, those "i was being pushed to the edge and was desperate!" and the blaming of the god's stuff like "god is so unfair/always playing with my fate". *immitating a parent's lecturing tone of voice* you should never, let me repeat myself, *coupled with actions of drumming her index finger at you* NEVER allow faulting, because reconising your mistake is the best medication to face your problem and the only window to saving yourself from the shithole completely.


    *regains her composure*

    "its always a blessing in disguise", thats what i reminded myself everytime, and used to encourage them. like i said... *pointed up to her introduction of her blog*.....

    "everything happens for a reason.give it time,u'll c what's in store behind e screwed up life.believe in urself,believe harder."

    *proceeds back to terrorising her forever sleepy cat*

    background + oasis
    don't go away (accoustic)
posted by fries @ 11:46:00 PM

Sunday, February 16

    i've been sick since last saturday. shit. and i have a show tonight at Grass root club. *curses and swears*. i had plenty of sleep today, only to hope i don't screw up tonight. though its not a big show, i have the responsibility to do my best. *shuts her eyes and chants "i can do it" repeatedly*

    macho wil called when he reached brisbane last night, very sweet of him. i miss him already.*shouting for macho wil by immitating Tom hanks calling for "WILSON!" to his only friend- the basket ball, in the movie-cast away* . buddy, take care eh, without my violence, you will find yourself strangely missing it. *chuckles* don't deny it, you're a sick self abusing sort too. muahahaha..

    for tonight, i will be meeting mummy pat and butty shan for dinner later. hopefully sisterkins could join us too. all rightey, gotta prepare for work now.

    background + nightmares on wax
    ease jimi

posted by fries @ 5:23:00 PM

    .Anti-Valentine's Day.
    for those who are single and thinks v.day sucks, you are not alone.

    .The Ticket Stub Project.
    a place where you can upload scanned images of your saved stubs, and tell a story about that night, that concert, that movie, what happened on that date; basically,saved the stub as a reminder. very meaningful for me, coz i do that before.

    .Blackheart's Party.
    finally, useful bar and restaurants reviews, divided into four convenient categories. need a place to fuck? to dump that someone? to cheat? Ouch.

    Kofee Break
    .Paolo villani.
    the best for audio/video synchrony.

    .Dennis van de sande.
    the best for special effects.

    .Maiken nysom.
    the best for originality.

    .Andrea castellani.
    the best for use of animation technique.


    ok, that's about it.

posted by fries @ 4:49:00 PM



    Lord, Before I lay me down to sleep,
    I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
    One who's handsome, smart and strong,
    One who's loves to listen long,
    One who thinks before he speaks,
    When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.
    I pray that he is gainfully employed,
    And when I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.
    Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
    Massages my back and begs to do more.
    Oh! send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
    Knows what to answer to "How big's my behind?
    " One who'll make love till my body's a 'twitchin,

    In the hall, in the garden and in the kitchen!
    I pray that this man will love me to no end,
    And never attempt to hit on my friend.

    Lord, I pray for a nympho with huge boobs
    who owns a liquor store and likes to fish.


    *tsk tsk*

posted by fries @ 2:23:00 AM

    entering my hotmail account is now like choosing candies in a bag without having the permission to peep inside.the anticipation of waiting for "The Mail" is causing my heart to boil, hoping for the joy to arrive, but at the same time, fearful for the dissapointment of "0 message". i tried to apply the "Don't expect, and there won't be dissapointment" theory. well, i might have to try harder *mental reminder to self*

    gotta wake up to the morning sun tommorw *whines*. this means i have to turn in very soon. i hope i won't doze off in class tomorrow. *silent prayer to keep the drooping eyes wide open the moment she woke up*. with all the late nights since chinese new year, i doubt it. *shakes head in slow motion*

    the stars are out, the darkness had conquered my city.
    im creeping to my snugglicious bed, blowing kisses at you.
    *yawn* nite..

    background + dusty springfield
    wishing and hoping
posted by fries @ 1:59:00 AM

Saturday, February 15

    macho wil had left. *sob sob* .we had majong last night (won 20 bucks, but gave it to el when i learned that she lost 50 *mubbles*) and were supposed to meet him at the airport to see him off. you know what? el and i overslept at celine's and by the time we woke up, it only left half and hour before he go on board. apologised profusely over the phone, but i still feel very bad about not being able to give my buddy a big big hug before he left. hopefully, i can make it up to him in april? *giving guilty cutesy look begging for macho wil's forgiveness*


    spent my valentine's day in town with el and jamie. met up with pat, audrey and rachel for dinner at holland village( a thai restaurant which i'd forgotton its name, we chose it just because it seemed less crowded). sitting there, reminded me alot about the time i spent with baby g (i missed him lots) .which also reminded me that he hadn't call, email, icq or sms me.(i had just recieved some e-card from him today though).hmm..

    im i demanding? but prolly at this time, i thought something nicer than that would be sweet. instead i got an e-card with less than 50 words. i really don't want to expect anything anymore.


    i drew something for him and wrote dropped my messages in it too. apparently, its still with me now because he said he thought its not a good idea for him to bring it with him when he's travelling.

    for my baby g..

    background + nina simone
    my baby just cares for me
posted by fries @ 12:39:00 PM

Friday, February 14

    happy valentine's day. especially to baby g.
posted by fries @ 2:08:00 PM

Thursday, February 13

    i just woke up. had just sent baby g off. not about to post anything on that yet. i don't wanna unconsiously flood my entry with anything that will cause my visitors here to puke. im somewhat in a sick and mono state. sick, because im sick. mono, as in just wanting to space out (and space in?) and type nonsensical entry like now. sisterkins' a great diversion to me now, she's always the consolation in my life (or somekind of a reminder ) that im sane and normal. she had a towel wrapped in her head when she came out from shower (this happened just 2 minutes ago). stepped into my room and picked up her cell phone to recieve a sms from i dunnoe who, turned her head up and started talking in a squeeky high pitched tone. daydreaming on what she'll do if she'd striked lottery. how she would bring us to a holiday visit to europe if this happen. hmm..

    background + life in mono
posted by fries @ 1:56:00 PM

Saturday, February 8

    *drumming her fingers on her desk*


    hmmm.. *trys to think of something to blog*

    still nothing.

    my mind is in total blank.


    yet i still want to blog.


    today's macho wil's farewell and im not going. (im not very good with parting, remember?)

    *her inpiration bulb lit beside her (with a bell like sound of a "DING!" -like a scene when a cartoon character got and idea in from one of the scene) when she finally recalls of something to share and blog*

    erm..i won 5 bucks at esther's last night.

    ok, im ending your sufferings of my boring piece of entry for now.

    warns- be thankful.

    *forces a smile*

    background + portishead
    give me a reason
posted by fries @ 3:51:00 PM

Friday, February 7

    we're putting up at one of his friend's apartment at holland hill for a week. you can walk to holland village in 5minutes, another hawker down at commonwealth road in 2minutes. you have to love this place. but its depressing in here. reminds me every minute that he's leaving very soon.

    i have thoughts to not see him off on monday morning, but that will be very cruel for both of us. you have no idea how i hate to face seperation. i had to learned to accept it since i was in nursery and the scar was never going to go away. why do we have to learn to accept things as they go and i hate it, hate it, hate it.

    background + the iraq news on channel news asia baby g's watching
posted by fries @ 3:53:00 PM

Thursday, February 6

    sandy had warned everyone to take a test. had done it gal! here you go ..

    .Depression Assessment Quiz.
    Depression is one of the most prevalent and serious mental illnesses in the world today; approximately one in four women and one in eight men experience at least one bout of clinical depression in their lifetime. Almost every one of us has, at one point or another, experienced a "blue mood" as a result of a disruptive life event (like ending a relationship) or day-to-day stress. However, true depression is a pervasive feeling of sadness that impairs our general functioning and lasts for more than two weeks. While we often throw around the word "depressed" to describe any fleeting moment of unhappiness, depression is actually a biological illness that doesn't simply disappear overnight.The first step towards breaking free of depression is diagnosing the problem. The Depression Test is a good start, but if you show any signs of depression you should not hesitate to seek professional advice.

    and here's my result..

    Results of the Depression Test-Depression Index

    Your score = 38

    What does your score mean?
    You show no major signs of depression. You have the blues from time to time, like most people, but are able to get a grip on your thoughts and feelings before they send you on a downward spiral. Of course, everyone has bad days, but overall you're doing great! Keep your spirits up!

    *shrugs* somehow, i feel that im a little psychotic rather than depressive. maybe i should take a test for that.
posted by fries @ 4:09:00 AM

Tuesday, February 4

    if anyone were to ask me about the economic situation here in singapore, i'll tell them this :

    in year 2001, i recieved $150.
    in year 2002, i recieved about $300(plus what i got from the regulars at work).

    this year, in total, till today, i recieved .....$70?!?

    its almost the last reason what i like about chinese new year you know?

    *folding arms and pouting*

    on the brighter side, i won $150 from card games on sunday.

    *three cheers for her smart moves*

    ok, its not so bad after all. im easily contented, as you can see, which made me a happy bunny in this new year again.

    background + saint germain
    montego bay spleen

posted by fries @ 4:51:00 PM

Sunday, February 2

    first of all, i wanna really thank baby g for sportingly sticking with me in my granny's throughout the whole of yesterday. getting all the stares from all my relatives, having interogating conversations repeatedly .like "where r u from?"," what do u do?" blah blah blah, you get my drift.watching 4hrs of bad tv (aww, that really sucks) with all the people you'd never met before is just sweet, sweet, sweet. *slurps* i really appreciate it lots, of your every effort of sharing my world with me and not complaining for the slightest bit still. thanks, my smoochie baby. *smooch*

    my sis and i never fail to drop a coin whenever we walked past the needys. i mean, if you're worried if you should buy this top or dress or shoes, be it every once in a while, or was it a monthly excercise, whats a dollar to spare for someone who's needing (or not, it makes no difference) it and begging you for that little charity help? for those guys outs there, bragging about the newest gadgets they had just purchased, the things they splurged on on the gals they fancy, and their hundred and one indulgences. why's a gold coin or even 50cents even a pinch at all? i seriously thought a guy with a big heart is definetely more impressive.


    i was taking a stroll with my sisterkins and we came across this old helpless man with a bandage and spreading himself comfortably on the side of the ground, he had to, he got a bad wound at his knee too. after i searched through my pocket and finally found some change for him, i overheard a disturbing conversation between two ladies walking ahead of me, crossing the road and completely dissing the poor man off with thier stupid selfish thoughts.

    women A : (grabbed B away after walking past the old man) don't give them money!
    women B : (shaking her head) no i won't lah. dunnoe whether they're faking it anot.
    women A : ya, we rather donate directly to the home or charity.
    women B : ya loh, ya loh...

    i doubt it. i think these excuses are lame and god should make these ppl eat their words should they be presented with prove that whatever they contributed will be for the homes and intellectually disabled, and nope, they still didn't donate. i did volunteery work selling new year goodies for gathering funds to build a better home and provide better living enviroment for the aged and the disabled and came across ppl who gives all kinds of excuses in the world and it makes me wonder where the warmth of the season had gone to? of course, we encountered some who really didn't need extra shopping for their house and generously donated a token of their heart without getting the goodies. *heads up to those kind ppl out there* .lets assume the old injured man lying on the street was a fako, BUT he's in his fifties or sixties, couldn't find a job and resorted to dressing himself with bandages and earning a living to feed himself, i don't diss him off with "he's a con man and no, we should not donate",i think he's better than ppl who robs or steals right? anyway, why be so hard on everything and isn't life miserable if you have to justify upon doing a good deed? this is pathethic. i despise anyone who shuns away making assumtions, and denying your selfishness to help others and worst, making excuses for it. Pttui.

    its the thought that counts. im broke but i do other nice things to make up for it. i had never really donated a huge sum to any of the charity but i believe i will at least try to bring warmth to them. its not a selfless act though, it brought me happiness.

    *holding a big smile across her face*

    background + molly johnson
    don't explain
posted by fries @ 5:41:00 PM