Thursday, October 21
Expectation Level Effects.
- there are great plans ahead and im estatic about it, like always, i like plans and working on them keeps me and my wondering mind some kinda pull to stay alive or to still survive.
let's start dipping bits in the bad news before i share my other joys with u. i wont be working a more interested subject, but as ive always reminded myself for not over-expecting and taking things for granted, it is, still a big bonus for me. yay for that.
i will be waving to you from changmai in nov. man, i cant stop grinning. the idea of shopping for free if things work out for me and even bestest if it settles my air ticket. *fakes evil laughter* its spelling fun, fun and more fun if its free! yes. *bows in shame* me a freebie whore. *rolls eyes*
i have to offer my disgusting big smiley to you again. coz all is unexpected and that makes me, a happy bunny, again. as you know, this is next thursday. for me.
The Visit of the Tai Tai
now, i also have this.
The Physicists - By Friedrich Durrenmatt
btw, do u know i have someone who lingers and spills droplets of sweet nothings on me everyday. nice try, but no thanks.
"i don't pay, so you don't have to do that"
*corner her warning eyes at him with a faint smile*
"i'm not those girls you like play with, so go do ur talk for them. in any case, just wanna tell ya i don't pay for sweet talkers" *smirks*
*puzzled* "hey, why are u so mean..haha"
"not funny wot. i really dun pay, don't waste ur efforts" *proceeds continue her work*
background + portishead
Friday, October 15
- work/neckaches/late nights/walking his dog/late for work/practical lessons/sniffles/boss with a big heart/family bonding/smoochies/2046/more work/yoga/drained/weekend job?/changmai/salads/fuckin broke/about you/fitness club/even more work/bali/mummy pat getting engaged/silly jokes and telling me "i like you".
wait wait wait.
i am too small
and i cant catch up.
background + portishead
Tuesday, October 12
No More Niggles of My Life.
- its difficult to catch up with life. they are always too fast or too complex for me. ironically, i am also too complex for you. when i choose to keep my feelings for my own good, the reasons are also not for me to share. some just care for the wrong reasons and if its not my life that's concerned, i dun really give a damn about who you are, what you think or how they used to niggle me. thank god for this.
i didn't agree with the ppl who misjudged me, i wasnt even affected at all since they dun even know me. i dun blame them for their ignorance but it pinches me to see how they fail to read themselves and acting as they're some psychiatrist trying to untie my morbid thoughts and converting me to be some ppl that are acceptable in this reality. if this is me, it will always be me, why cant some ppl trust that im genuinely happy and contended with however little you think i have.
i am glad to be who i am(tho i still rant about the unfairness the world has been) and how appreciative i've learnt to be(yes, i know how to better myself, much thanks without your help too). i seek balances in life and i have my own sets of thoughts that may differ from wot may seem normal to you and ive given up convincing ppl or educating them to see humans in all brains running just a different system from yours. too bad for you.
so wots my drift? seriously i dun even know. i just let my fingers run my keyboard to share some little part of my thoughts. to those who share the same track ive been running, believe in urself and life will be smiling up at you.
boring piece of shit? shaking ur head thinking life have nothing better for me to waste than writing lame post like this and thinking big of myself? but think about it, i might be the crap writer, but wot makes you who read till the end of it?
background + nine inch nails
Saturday, October 9
Muse Muse, Where'd You Go?
- can you make my heart skip? yes? no?
*lets out a heavy sigh and turned to leave. dragging feet*
i felt him smiled and i turned to check.
we exchanged smiles and he paced up.
i like to hear him breathe, when i tip-toe to tell him things that never fails to make him laugh. he inhales deeply and slowly and i think like it. it only make me want to do it more often, just like an addiction.
*heart beat quickened* *we stole glances* *talked, laughed and got closer*
*he strokes his fingers down the left arm of mine*
you wont believe it. all sweet feelings, faded. no, it was like being washed down and *SNAPS* the butterflies i felt few days ago, left. why?
suddenly, i just wanna go home and never want to see him. not now maybe. i felt a sick feeling down and under. i felt bad for him too. gosh, wot have i done? i gave a lame excuse and hopped into the cab hoping the driver would speed all 160 to home. wot is wrong with me. wot the hell is this. i cant comprehand, tell me if u can. i thought about him when i was back at home, my comfort zone, and i know its never the same anymore. where's that sweet feeling and thoughts i had just not long ago. the shit happened again. he's tagged number 3. *closes eyes and rubs temple gently*
so now, im enjoying time as usual, back to work and getting all things busy.
muse muse, where'd you go?
background + travis
Friday, October 8
- watched Pandora 88 with bloodyB last night. i was expecting myself to fall asleep half way thru the show since self-torturing-phychotic me didn't sleep the whole night *rolls eyes*.
i was captivated and totally taken in by every part of their perforance. this unique and fantabulous theatre and dance of Fabrik Company from germany was inspired by Brian Keenan’s book "An Evil Cradling" and Stanley Kubrick’s film 2001: A Space Odyssey.
let's see, two men trapped in a box with 1.5sq m of floor space.all depending on a projection screen, source of light and sound and with less than 10 lines i guessed even you easily memorise, how creative can u get? unbelievable i tell'ya. from comedy to tragedy and back coupled with their talents of amazing flexibilty, i can say its a jaw dropping experience through and through. *applauses*
wots next? *fakes thinking-look by rubbing chin with index finger*
The Visit of the Tai Tai (next thurs with xBabyg)
The Physicists (in my to-do-list!)
alrighty, go find ur own programme. im fully booked and rock climbing tis sun is my new date! im a happy bunny. *proceeds to do silly bunny jump*
background + cyberfit
Wednesday, October 6
- its been awhile since i last shared the interesting links with you. have fun peeps!
.Crossed Your Eyes.
to view these images in 3-D ... *winks* (i bet you're gonna love it like i did. oh no! not drooling on it u sick people), cross your eyes until a composite image forms in the
middle. *raises left brow with cheeky smiley*
.The Visual Thesaurus.
an engaging way to explore the English language, making it more exciting for vocabulary learning.Especially for those of you who learn better through visuals, this product is indispensable.
mind-numbing puzzle game. have fun yo!
background + massive attack
Sunday, October 3
My f-arking is bad?
another bali's shot. i was jumping and getting all estatic when i caught movements at the corner of my eye.it happened to be dogs mating. so now u know dogs had their breakthrough with doing it in the non-doggy-style. *tsk tsk*
i was driving chicken's car with sistakin beside me & him playing games on his mobile(the duo have been investing quite alot of time on these entertainments from mobile phones & its especially irking when the start-up music for the tamaguchi-alike(u have to nurture ur cat & make sure its living healthily) game is ear piercing).at the junction, sistakin was encouraging that im left with my parking(since ive not been driving for sometime)technique when my dry lips didnt get to close tight enough as i said "shit, my F-arking is bad". needless to say, it became the joke of the night. they just couldn't stop laughing at my mis-pronounciation, repeating it over and over again & pointing at me. they behaved like 2 noisy ppl who'd been smoking pot & i could only roll my eyes and pretend as i couldnt be bothered. suckers. there'll be pay back time. i swear. *inserts high pitched eveil laughter* muahahaha!
background- fiona apple
across the universe