Thursday, December 27
Happy Birthday To Bun-Me
- happy birthday to myself. no celebration. but alot of msn and sms wishes. but being appreciative, the 1st to send a text message was a surprising one - an ex vendor of my ex company, a nice uncle he is. some who remembered, made my birthday sweeter since im usually kinda emo when its "the day" and i have no freaking idea why. told kellycakes , "so funny. im cheery for the whole year and super emo on this day. thats why i need to go away." guess i need to fly off earlier next year. tsk tsk.
met up with the gals for xmas dinner earlier and its always been good catch up and fun and laughter and charms. i only manage to take one group shot with my mobile and the rest wil be up on facebook by the gals. *smiles* we went to this place up sophia road and the bill come up to a whooping 800buckeroos. and sharon insisted to buy us all dinner, so no right since its not cheap *pouts* , such a sweet babe that one. :)
soo tired and i need to finish packing up for the flight in approximately 5hrs time.
Saturday, December 22
She without arm, he without leg - ballet - Hand in Hand
received and email and i realy wanna share it. magnificent and touching def and i, like the other audiences, teared as i witness this living proof that strong spirit can conquer any physical limitations.
Thursday, December 20
- exhausted. did some shoppa with sistakinnies and checked most prezzies. just 3 more for the clients and im chucking the super short shopping list. so short i should call it a shopping note instead. *laughs*
am only 50% prepared for tokyo and still have errands to run. planned for meet ups and im a happier bunny every single day for reasons so small but its been a bumpy month for me. appreciating every small light leak that shined on my path. needa catch up with the high spirits around me. not so bad actually.
as i trotted home last night, i felt hopeful. life IS beautiful *grins*. i told el today, that broke i might be, but i am really happy. i am blessed with all things beautiful. especially my heart that sees love and my eyes that glitters to spread love. lol. the people around me, have been bringing bunny sweets and cherries, blissful honey bunny me. i can never thank enough, my babes and babettes, my family, friends and even colleagues. they make next year a better year already.
thanks all my love for you're still here with me. *big hugs to all*
Monday, December 17
- helpless. hopeless. penniless.
wishing well is not in sight. seeing the acount DEeepreciating is mucho DEeepressing. i hate DEeecember already. being broke in december is not fun at all. i just keep telling people to either :
1. don't buy me xmas gift. save your moolah. (truth is i don't feel as bad if i don't buy any for you)
2. if you ask me what i want for my birthday. pls give me cash. serious. i mean, i appreaciate moolah more for now. but if you don't give cash, even a call for birthday wishes is sweet enough. *smiles*
sad. i must save up for next year. broke broker me, lol and its not even funny. if my boss sees this, he should be ashamed - this shows he's not paying his staff enough. *not giggling* so i have to resort to accept weekday show request like wednesday, and prolly even xmas eve count down. *sobs* opportunity cost sux ass.
*sulks* well, i can just pinch my lips and hope to at least have fun as usual.
i hope u have a merrier pre xmas at least.
Sunday, December 16
Jenn Grant - Dreamer
she was no psuedo jenny lewis or leslie feist.
she is jenn grant.
although this song did not blow me and tear me apart.
this might be the song that get me through december. dream wonderful.
it'll bring out the idealist in me to dream and let the thoughts of the journey of fantacies in tokyo to realise and swirl in my head.
tee da da da. here i go.
go forth and dream. christmas is coming.
Saturday, December 15
Phase of Rediscovery.
- movie earlier was not my fav but denial i will not be that i actually can relate to some bits of the storyline. the leading actress expressed how ive appreciated love of any kind. how even feeling strongly for something is magical. love is always beautiful, and even at the worst situation, be amused by how you react to it, love leads to hate and we know you hate because you still love.
lol. its funny how when i am now single, i appreciate love. seriously. i think ive never come to understand such profound level of this sacred thing call love then ive ever in my life when i had someone by my side. like i always said, there's always different perspectives of our surroundings at different stages of our life. i think i am really loving my singlehood at this point more than i thought i should. *giggles*
i look forward and am counting down to the days to the bigger red dot, japan. anxious me, to discover the world of this other and even anticipating the hope to find the other side of bunny di.
walk away. oh eh oh.
print foot walk, in the rain.
in the rain
found a way
eh eh what we are,
hear me heart
look at me
walk a way. oh eh oh.
ive recently discovered tapping your fingers one after another can be kinda theraputic. try it. lol. i see new light every day. :)
*taps fingers on desk gently*
background + jenn grant
Thursday, December 13
Spirits Of Xmas.
- festive season is always merry and nice. and the happiest moment for most would be the time for unwrapping prezzies. i do not gaurantee the same degree of estaticism upon seeing the prezzie itself though. *giggles*
getting prezzies for anyone is never an easy chore. you put in thoughts and it suddenly everything the other mentioned seem to enlighten and confuse you time and again. after all, you have a budget so tight you wish xmas can be postpone for another month. prolly another 2 more months for me. *pouts*
i need to sit down and do a list of who i wanna get prezzies for this year. sadly, i will be very selective but not only limited to those who are close, but those who already bought me something and told me about it. *tears hair*
hokay hokay. xmas must not = agony.
i want a fairy christmas this year.
Wednesday, December 12
Happy Birthday Pa.
- movement of my feet - swinging, as i hung my legs over the chair.
my eyes - glazing. dazing. almost closing. but im still not sleeping.
boredom - long hours in texas hold'em poker room bears testament to that.
my time to stop. wait. hibernate. one day, just one day. work and no more zonking in and out. how can anyone enjoy life this way (if there is even anyone who does, im almost tempted to salute him/her, but i know i shouldn't.), i cant even do this for half a day. well, at least it give me zest to start tomorrow afresh. i should start working on my assignments for a more peacful trip to come soon.
enjoying life is when you know you've worked hard enough, and u absolutely deserve the fruit of labour.
so much work. i still have to wish dad a happy birthday. we still miss you mucho deep. i close my eyes tonight only to see you at the samo couch and pointing finger at ur 3 lovely under aged girls with $1.50 in your hands, asking us to buy ciggies for you. ah. our 1 room hdb flat at henderson road. just us and you. hmm. and your tv. *laughs* . and me, as always, will avoid eye contact with you just so sisterkins gets such sucky task every night.
if i recall hard enough. i can even smell his da li fa gao (a pungent old green hair cream he never failed to apply every single day to work, rain or shine.)
pa. you don't know how much i wish i can buy ciggies for you now.
. . . . . . . . .
Tuesday, December 11
Canon EOS 40D!
- ta da!!
my new toy is here!
Monday, December 10
Strong Vs Rational.
- on the way to school earlier, i suddenly remembered what joycie babe last siad to me over msn before i sign out at work. "i wish i am strong like you."
me strong? i cannot help but laugh. not at them, not at myself. but how this strong self of mine is somehow what ive been telling people, that no matter what they do, they always have a choice. truth is, given a choice i wanna be just like most of u. as i pondered over what joycie babe commented again, i wonder what makes them have such thought about me. maybe not expressing my feelings enough is one of them? like all the others, who wept, ranted and raved about what hurts while i offered my shoulder and smile and still give sane advices even though i myself is in deep load of shit that some thought this is being strong? lol. literally laughing out loud, i am. well, if u asked, i will tell u, i don't have a choice. if i can choose, i will want to be who i am not for now. im contented with who or what i am today. but i wish i can learn to open and let all barriers down. hmm. i don't think u get my drift.
never would i call myself strong as i know i am only human as well. i just don't see why we have to pour and crawl and behave like we're needy of attention. im not stating that the rest are seeking of such, but i think pouring of sorrows should be limited to our circle of friends and it should only be an output for u to get over it. u do it once or twice, u get over it.
now. i have absolutely no idea why i have such a post. meaningless and i even sounded angry. *laughs* guess i was just confused by the frequent comment on how blah blah strong i am.
*scratches head* i am not?
if anything, i think im just a very rational person. like when i am in a situation, i weigh on how much it is worth to dwell on it and used i try so hard not to cry or feel too sad till now its become a habit that has been practiced in my daily live. ive learned how to think rationally, so even when i allow myself to cry, it will only be because i think in life, people do NEED tears and sorrows, so then i will allow myself to digest the sad thought and only feel relieved when i started to tear. hmm. there's alot who won't understand that my situation can be sad as well. i wanna uncontrollably break down and cry for someone so bad some people think im mad.
i AM mad. right?
i feel my heart and it doesnt pump for me anymore.
Saturday, December 8
got the tix. cliamed under ent. woo hoo hoo. always pay for client so u get freebies for urself. lol. agrh. im so cheap at times i get disgusted with myself. but i save about $100. so whatever lah. see ya all tonight. *waves and jumps*
caught Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007) with the boys. later at 10am i still need to do a print for my buyer and then also do self delivering to another buyer from the fair who teaches at temasek poly. but im delivering to beauty world art gallery. hmm. am soooooo tired, i might just get the dispatch topick it up from my place instead and stay home to complete my assignment so that i can head down to school for submission. popping by to meet hermie and hopefully jon to pick up some gears for the madness event.
wedding dinner at hyatt(shanghai theme), then trotting down to zouk out tonight.
planned for this beeeeeeeeeezy weekend?
have a good one.
Friday, December 7
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Rich
i just love her concerts. i need to see such performance and i wanna be like her. get super high with the music and sing and dance like no one cares.
Wednesday, December 5
Not in the mood for Guessing Games.
- i know how much he'd wanted to try the food at sage, he suggested we try it once but we couldnt get a table reservation. some time back, there was plan to meet a female friend for dinner, though ive actually reserved a table to suprise him, i offered to let him have it with whomever that is. i am really that ok.i asked my self an dthe purpose is to let him try the food sinc ehe wanted so much to try it anyway. apparently he turned my offer down and said that the dinner need not be romantic with that female friend of his. hmm. questions. but i never ask.
today, being nice again, i asked if we should do that tomorrow. the answer came deflating my mood for evening (which of coz lasted for no more than 30mins).
he : whats the occassion?
me : none
(still no reply after 2mins)
me : we'll do when there's an occassion then
me : :)
i was kinda fuming and i dont even know why. what do u mean whats the occasion? when we planned to try that place out few months back, there wasnt anything to celebrate as well. never enjoy these guessing games, i gave up and let that question mark go.
what strucked to be possible could be that he mentioned how romatic the place can be, and so it makes bringing me with the thought that he want to be romantic and he didnt want to mislead. careful, he might be, but that was a wrong way, or bad move. now i will never suggest again it even if he feels like it. im cool, but i dun like it awkward at all. i am still very much a sensitive person. in any case, i just walk away. i think he should just let me walk away. like how i wouldnt want to be selfish in my past relationships, i let go if i at least care about the other snce i know it'll never work out anyway. im never afraid to show or let the other know ho i feel, and i appreciate more if one can show me the line and happier to keep clear of confused zone.
Monday, December 3
Look on the Right Side of Things.
- exausted, drained and lethargic. zouk out will be my drive for the week. much needed, depended form of out put for me. music, souls and all my favourite people. dance and prance, fun fun fun!
meeting my two fav babes in the whole wide world tomorrow night for din din. how to feel drenched even when the sky fell or my empty pocket called?
in life, we just have to look at the brighter and lighter side of things.
ts never easy, might even get disheartened after the a few falls. so what. at least im happier this way.
Sunday, December 2
The Affordable PhotoFair-ed
- happy bunny yakking away at the photo fair today and there were so many nice souls who dropped by. i sold 7 prints!! below what i expected, but i think that already but a smile on my face. woo wooo hoo waaa haa haaa.
ok. not a smile. since when bunny never exagerates? :P
it went really well. people asked me why am i not approaching anyone who stopped by my booth, go "do sales" with the "potential buyers" for my prints. but i wanna stand and watch. i dont get to see this before, with strangers going through my work and not just praising me because they know me and offering encouragement of some sort. i anticipated what are the expressions reflect upon seeing my pics and how they have small chats while they saw a certain photograph of mine. i love to study how they responded with each image, what they appreciate more or less through what i saw, snapped and shared. i am the one behind the lens, but they are those who stood behind me. what i've showcased, only justify one part of the works, but how each percieves and analyses, from different minds of each, i can have so much to explore. i think i can be addictive to do another such exhibition man, like speedy easy.
aside from what intriqued me throughout the fair, i would like to say many many thanks to those who came by, especially those who actually did help out since lil bunny couldn't manage with her puny strength of one. *smiles* mel, apologise we couldnt realy catch up much since the crowd was pretty much ongoing and it was really sweet of u to stay like through most of the afternoon *hugs*. sisterkins, my babes and even my clients, colleagues and boss. whoa. i can never thank enough.
thank u all for even dropping by. *big tight hug*