"dysfuctionally inspired"

Thursday, January 31

Stressing Out For Exam.

    S.T.R.E.S.S.E.D O.U.T !!

    for my management accounting paper this saturday. i wanna cry already.

    and me being dumb and slow to absorb coupled with yet another unproductive study night is making me mad.

    like Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad mad.

    not funny at all.

    oooOOoOoommm ooOOoOoommm oOoOOoomm.
posted by fries @ 10:53:00 PM

Monday, January 28

One of the Best Trips. - Bali

    i am back. recharged and reborn! lol

    laughing/fooood!/snapping/bikinis -5 more added to my collection/MASSAGES+medi+pedicure (always live like a qween)/krispy kreme/oogling/bubba gump and its shrimps made herman squeel!/white water rafting/shopping again/ 3clubs partying till 6am/wedding by the amazing garden in the villa/making friends with people from different parts of the world/tears of joy/lovely bride and charming groom/more laughters/moments with a lil bali child so cute she made me tear/too many hugs and kisses/cheap pahang food/krispy kreme for home sweet home.

    i made it home in one full piece and looking forward to sex tonight to complete my wondrful life over this past 5days. *did a jiggy dances*

    have you beeen bad?

    *blows kisses*
posted by fries @ 5:19:00 PM

Thursday, January 24

Bali for the Vanderbeek's Wedding.

    leaving for bali in less than 4hrs and im still up with my fingers non stop clicking on the mouse while my eyes stares at the screen with my cards that sux for the last 4hrs at rm ID 743 of texas hold'em poker.

    i know. i should be ashamed. im like the 27,633 other facebook users who has nothing better to do but trying to be virtually rich and enjoying the thrill of such addictive game we call gambling. i can only say its a skill required to climb up the leaderboard and although im nowhere near my poker buddies. one of 'em has sold his 13mil worth of chips for USD500. no joke, its real money talk.

    i need to get a new phone. so im browsing around and sisterkinel seems to be supportive of her new motorola(don't remember the model no.). and i went online comparing the ericsson phones and am still very much torn between a walkman phone with a memory of 8GB or the 5 tempting mega pixel of new camera phone.

    now, i need to call and get my voucher from starhub to be mailed to me again. tee hee.


    he came to me on msn earlier and pretty much expressed how he felt. with me not being very responsive and very lil enthusiam, he also rang me for faster response. i really appreciate all of that. thank you.

posted by fries @ 4:23:00 AM

Wednesday, January 23

I am Bigger Than You.

    it was dark out, everything illuminated only by street lamps and headlights of passing cars. you boarded the cab and stared out at the window. the moment when you wish it rain. jaded and and stil couldn't get quite ditch the thought of how entering university can be a problem. i know it wasn't that lame, but i don't like to belittle or be put in comparison with. i know i have a bigger heart no one can insanely be on par with me, not especially him or her.

    as the cab cruises along the expressway, you almost wish it would collide with something else, just because you're sure it would feel better than sitting in that backseat at that moment.

    D says:
    truth is, i know he has high expectations

    D says:
    and i dun want him to settle for anything less

    HerMan says:

    D says:
    and im not willing to have someone who cant appreciate me fully

    D says:
    further more, i don't intend to have a bf now

    HerMan says:
    its his lose if he were to thinK tht way

    HerMan says:
    look at his ex who got a degree who can't even behave well.

    HerMan says:
    smart but imature.

    HerMan says:
    and wanting to get a 16k handbag?

    D says:
    thats why i dun think we should get too comfortable

    D says:
    dawn is very smart

    D says:
    smarter than him

    D says:
    and she is rich (omg, what the heck?)

    D says:
    i dunnid to compare myself with her. though she has her qualities

    D says:
    i have so much more, but i dunnid to be compared like this

    HerMan says:
    if thts how tantan thinKs then let him be

    D says:
    i have a heart so big i never need to belittle myself

    D says:
    and i cant tell him. grr.

    D says:
    so i just have to let him go

    D says:
    hey darl. im not not bothered by it anymore. maybe just last night. if i dun think he's worth it, i dunnid to spend more than 1 night thinking about it. lol.

    the above convo sorta submarised why/how/what happened. im off to pack for my bali trip for thursday. wedding, parties, massages and shopping, i have tons to feel bunny, i never need a him to step in.

    humans are such predictable disappointing creatures at times you just can't help laughing it off and pat your own back for being the brave one to want out.
posted by fries @ 12:18:00 AM

Monday, January 21

Nice Cuddly Weekend.

    hows weekend for u? mine was lazy. schweet, warm, cuddly and lazy to be precise. *smiles* sat was spent with me and him lying in bed, him watching tv and me staring out the balcony drifting away with thoughts unimportant, but a feeling of beautiful saturday with bed of roses (although there were no roses. :P)

    that was a nice weekend. *locks memory*

posted by fries @ 8:14:00 AM

Thursday, January 17

So Now She Know.

    paths crossed and don't we all want to keep the best. walking down the memories lane. mental note for drawing barriers for some place we should never enter. not when we are not ready to face ourself.

    whats my drift? don't ask. just random thoughts for the night that triggered such meaningless post maybe. confused lil gal (not me) has been through something for some reason and only she will know whats going through her slightly wired self. i just wish me being left out of this, but i am sleeping with her ex, ain't i? but how do they (each) feel about me? i am NOT the cause for the break up (they ended before we even started), and i don't wanna be the one that bring her back (for the wrong reason).


    earlier in the train -

    staring out at the passing view of the neighbourhood in singapore, its totally irrelevant for my thoughts to wonder about poverty and crime. stealing for food, for survival, is theft still a crime? who are we to blame for some who need to feed and some who had none to give? reckless juvenile drunk driver hit and run, with money, they fight and won - who was held responsible for the innocent lives?

    as usual, my thoughts drifted, and i suddenly have visuals in my head of children wailing in the toys section, and the parents just screamed and demand for obedience. what kind of a parent will i be? all daddy talks about is work, and mummy only nags about why is he not doing better (they are not listening to either). how do families communicate nowadays?


    bali next week. vanderbeek's wedding! bikini and sundresses! ah. i wanna get a hair pin with a BIG hibiscus to match my yellow tube dress. so flowery and girly and im going with hermie!


    background+ garbage
    so like a rose
posted by fries @ 11:26:00 PM

Tuesday, January 15

Low Expectations?

    I am easily satisfied with the very best.
    - Winston Churchill

    this doesn't mean i have low expectations in life.
posted by fries @ 2:46:00 AM

Sunday, January 13

Weekend - Weak End

    weekend has been still busy (so much for promising self with more rest. tsk tsk), just ended my usual sat gig at this new place my agent decided to slot me back into. with my band gals, i can't complain (we have very good vibes on/off stage, excellent teamwork and heaps of fun all the time). on a hectic side, im kinda dragged into such obligation to commit my treasured sunday for a 3hour dance rehersal. EVERY WEEK. all i hear is "please please please, please please please", and im sucked into the same hypnotism of some sort to nod and agree and later regret. i can only whine and sulk to the girls at the backstage and pout at the thought of my precious sundays that will be not as enjoyable anymore (feeling helpless is something that i cant let go i have to behave like a such kido and i'll even stomp my feet if i can). sux ass.

    golf tomorrow afternoon *smiles*, then attending my cousin's baby shower, and lastly, another short gig at the downtown east resort in the evening. i hope i get to have an early night. *snaps* monday another tight schedule with lucnh appointment with a client and school after work.

    i can use a massage anytime. *sighs*

    feel so weak.

    *off to rush her finance journal*
posted by fries @ 4:09:00 AM

Saturday, January 12

Thoughts Of the Day.

    losing self confidence at work. i need to have a better knowledge of things but i cant seem to read much these days. the clock is ticking. what am i doing?

    caught our 1st movie today. micheal clayton. 2hrs too long, he thought. but i think it might be the bad choice for seats 3rd row from the front and the warrrrrrrrrrm theatre. but wotever.

    thoughts for the day :
    ain't it an oxymoron if people suggest to see each other exclusively but not wanna be IN a relationship anyway? tho it makes alot of healthy sense why choosing to sleep with one who is not a boy/girlfriend you call than some random people whom you met somewhere, somehow.

    also. why get married when you can have kids and still raise them together without the paper? the line of trust would've been questionable if you want the papers for securing whichever party for whatever reasons.

    i can never comprehand. prolly need to seek enlightenment to get outta it.

    im glad no one wants to marry me at the moment. lol. he better make me crazily in love with him (which i do hope that will happen if it happens :) ), or have a damn good reason why the red carpet decision.

    hoookay. output done and im off to bed with no thoughts in my head.

    *winks and blows goodnight kisses*
posted by fries @ 2:28:00 AM

Wednesday, January 9

2008 Bad Sign But with Good Start.


    buny is sick. >,<

    and my journals and assignments are still waiting for me. i wanna rest again but am always ended up in such a state with self pity.


    on a good note for this new year. today has been my 2nd day with no morning coffee upon arriving my work desk. simply because i didn't make it convenient to get them at the usual visits of coffee and toast after the train ride from home to work *big smiley and lifts chin showing proud look*. ive quit smoking *shrugs*, never thought coffee is any difficult, but im always amused by how my determination to set my mind on something and get things done. we just needa sort out why and get focused. never a biggie. easier said than done. im such a proud peacock at times. muah ha ha.

    although i have not exactly list out whats it gonna be like for the 2008 bunny year, im pretty much sure it's a time to slow down, take a breather and explore the wonders of self discovery (me , the world and lil bunny, all the three mixes - kinda like a cocktail mix. finding the right mix with the perfect taste is my objective). family and friends always at the top of my list, bonding will never be a-missing! *smiles*

    2008. cheers and celebrate shall we?

    see. sick buny can even dance already. *winks*

    background + garbage
    like a rose
posted by fries @ 9:55:00 PM

Monday, January 7

SATC hitting the Big Screen!

    oh oh! have you heard? SATC is heading to the big screen soon! *squeels* i didn't think it wil be good and my guess will be that it will be pretty much like like the series, but i used to lurrrrrve it so much and even after downloading them from kazza many many moons back, big bearie willy still got me the whole dvd series from brisbane (such darrrrrrling he is!)!

    its a def for me to catch, with the girlies, the boys, or tt or whomever booked me 1st (or i will come drag you with me *insert evil laughter*) muahah.

    now that shooting is underway, reporters, paparazzi and fans are doing their best to catch a glimpse of the actors at work and bring us news from the set. i've been poking my spoilers sources from the net for gossips about the movie. *giggles* so shoosh now if you're not interested. *winks*

    1. Carrie hires a new assistant named Louise. She is described as a fashionable and sharp African-American woman in her early 20s (which has been confirmed to be Jennifer Hudson) , who moved from St. Louis to NYC in order to find love. The movie will also feature her ex-boyfriend Will.

    2. an interesting tidbit is that they are looking for four women, one being a redhead, aged between 18 and 25-years-old and are said to be "the essence of our four girls."

    3. One of the important roles will be that of Dante, a hot and dark man in his 30s.

    4. Some scenes will feature Lovro Klujcik, the super of an apartment building; a real-estate agent and her assistant; an angry activist woman who is against killing animals for their fur; and a marriage counselor.

    5. From pictures found in here, you can see that Charlotte is about ready to pop! new baby in the set!

    more to come? i can't wait.
posted by fries @ 4:56:00 PM

NRT - SIN 0015am

    it was 0015hr when the plane finally touched down. phew. movie marathon makes me groggy (don't know why) and i still have heaps to carry back. young policeman chatted me up when i was at the check point and thought i was packpacking in japan (one humongous backpack thats bigger than me, 1 camera case, 1 small backpack for my barang barangs, 2 burberrys shopping bag-in-1 for joycie babe(i also dumped my stuff from this morning's shopping trip into the poor paperbag!), and 2 nippon DFS shopping bag for the office peeps (sweet snacks from nippon!) ), but i know i look more than funny actually. all these and waiting for my baggage still take another 25mins, not to mention my super long taxi line at the start with at at 60 people ahead of me. i can't even whine when i forgot the airport dosen't allow u to call for a cab. *winces*

    so im back. i miss tokyo already.

    though i didn't much get what i expected from the trip, the least expected seemed to be kinda sweet. like i found warmth in the cold cold winter. tee heee. now i will keep the memories in my heart. i know tokyo will never be the same again for me. :)

    need to get to sleep. i havent even unpack my luggage. argh. tomorrow tomorrow.

    night. *waves*
posted by fries @ 3:09:00 AM

Thursday, January 3

A Week In Tokyo.

    hows ur new year? im still here in tokyo and prolly still the same old me wishing i have a better new year ahead. ahem. i should mean this year alr. lol.

    so many things to see. japan has injected alot of creative juice into me although i have not been taking enough pics, which is quite upsetting actually. but im not blaming anything but just the bunny not working hard and hopping far enough. and the colours that i thought i should be expecting is not really showing. so much of basic black japan really. they have great style, but i wouldnt say all are what might seem acceptable. lol. not at least when a old granny wears to many colours on her face and still try to look very very demure. scary scene that is. *shudders*

    met up with some peeps and went kusatsu for onsen. SNOW. my 1st and suppressing my excitement when i finally saw the white patches all over the floor. its was freezing, but i was in a very cheery mood. *smiles*

    when it was finally new year, all that came to my mind was that a new year begins. nothing spectacular about it and celebration can always come later. just like birthdays. whah. if ure happy, everyday is worth celebrating. *winks* friend was sick and i stayed in to at least wish him a happy new year before i heading out to shinjuku. and to cut the story short, i didn't party on new year and get myself intoxicated. healthy start. good start.

    hokay will post more pics soon. am off and prolly for din din and more coke and keeping tan tan company.

    *screams* party tomorrow!!alrighty peeps. im really off. *giggles*
    background + kasabian
posted by fries @ 6:17:00 PM