"dysfuctionally inspired"

Monday, September 8


Ego and Me.


    time really flies, and its been 9 months into the year of 2008. i hope everyone had a time so far. at least i truly am.

    well not the whole of being ecstatic about life per se, or nor i have the best thing come my way at all, but i do believe that hiccups in life are always good challenges in life if you have a positive view about what and how to learn from mistakes. and if not, its not to late to start believing.

    as the memories of countless events (the high and low of each) of the year 2008 surfaced, i came to realize that expectations of being appreciated gets to me the most. interesting. because its proves that no matter how little i expect from (every)another, i did not let go of my ego to be appreciated. which reminded me of what i had once came across, when i was reading about meditation and self transformation, that one has to first start to identify your own egos before you can work around how to let that egoistic u go.

    i have noticed how i have cut down saying "unless mummy stop doing that". although i am not her best daughter, i am trying to be better every time (and i also know that my progress can't be taking too long :P, i know, really.).

    at work, it will be quite a challenge for my ego side to subside, because my boss has always taught me to be an aggressor. nonetheless, i will keep track, pronto.

    i have mentioned how that someone has thoughts about me not being "good enough", and this is the easiest to trigger my ego self while i refuse to be secondary. and i came up with this :

    i am not holding on just because i think i am the best for u.
    but
    i am here,
    because of you.

    ironically, i did not think that you are perfect too.

    but now i see how this has been quite beautiful.
    we are still here, you and me.

    it should only be this simple.

    *smiles*

    like i said, the progress does not have to be substantial, but we always have to self discover. its been a journey so far so good(very good indeed) for me, and i know the best has always yet to come. baby steps or big steps, its the first step that deserves a pat on the back.
posted by fries @ 1:35:00 PM
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