Wednesday, June 16
a pathetic selfish bitch?
- when i say i love u, i mean it. i say it very often, to my close friends, sistakins, now, when reminded, i'l touch my mum's heart and make her smile. not because im abusing it for attention, its because they are someone whom i treasure and feel for deeply in my life.
you know,its funny. coz ive never said it to babyg before. neither did he to me. in the one and a half years in our relationship *laughs* . ant and i didn't have the chance to experience the beauty of exchanging it too. they were both my ex and ive said it upteen times, BUT NEVER TO THEM.
im begginning to question my inner self if i was really involved in a relationship at all when such simple but deep meaning words were hidden and never shared? did i never want to express it in words or was these three words too heavy a responsiblity to them? or to any men, i guess. was i not ready to say it or was i waiting for someone to share it with me 1st? when things got worst, with the dissapointments and doubts, especially when i don't get my assurance in a relationship, (oh, i constantly needed assurance, im very protective with myself and i will freaked out and hold back my feelings when i sensed not loved) i will just act silly and drift myself slowly back to my comfort zone(or so i thought), behaving like a peacock, flaunting her beauty and turning back with such stupid arrogance. with all these questions spinning in my head..it ponders me,
was i really IN LOVE at all?
maybe all i know is only how to love myself and im just a pathetic selfish bitch who demanded love and never know how to love them them back. maybe so. *shrugs* i don't know.
time for some self reflecting i guess (?)
background + garbage
nobody loves you
posted by fries @ 2:02:00 PM
3 comments
3 comments
Don't say that of yourself. You're not! Perhaps just confused, and insecured (maybe earlier on). If not, I'm also a pathetic selfish bitch! ;o)
even if it s really true, at least u aren't like some ppl, who go ard saying the 3 words way too much times than they mean it.
gatchaman
melissa, i was insercure. granted. plus over protective and selfish too, i dun deny them. maybe im not pathetic, but a selfish bitch whos able to learn and grow, i don't think it much of a bad deal. *shrugs* on the other hand, men who are weak are pathetic and should be shameful of themselves. i won't feel for them, not even pity them. *laughs*
gatcha, i know wot u mean, but there's bound to be at least one time that they really meant it. not comparing with those who abuses it, but im sure its better than never getting to hear it at all(?). upon comparison with these extremes, i mean.
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