"dysfuctionally inspired"

Thursday, January 2



    i had a long post earlier and my damn pc had to hang on me right on the second i was about to publish. *slapped her pc several times, so hard that she felt her fingers burning and blood gushing towards her slightly reddish swelling palm* i had been stupidly voilent nowadays.

    anyway.

    went for movies with my two kinnies,ivy and el. caught Lord Of The Rings. i slept throughout the movie(guess i was still tired from the traumactically long new year's start). maybe i took it for granted that im going to watch it again with baby g. whatever it is, i wasted my 8bucks and 50cents. sucks.

    BABY G IS COMMING BACK TODAY. YAY YAY!!

    SAME GOES TO MACHO WIL. YEEPEE YAY!!

    desicion to make :
    stay or leave?

    why am i always stucked with decisions. i just hate it when there's always another awaiting after one fustration. during these 10 months, i had carefully and sucessfully decided on the two big turning point of my life. all for the same question(not forgetting this one too). to stay or leave(how stress is that?).

    1st new life:
    i finally gathered up all my courage and dignity to leave that emotionally abusive fucker boy. or i'll be still stucked with blaming myself all the time and there won't even be baby g now.

    2nd new life:
    leaving the band that i had been working with for three years. i will miss the fun and happy times though.

    what about this. what to do?

    *banging hard on her desk for a little destress, only to feel the pain in her hand again*
    *making screeching sound from scratching the empty can drink with her keys (or anything within her reach)*
    *laying back still feeling vexed but not any better*

    i need to really dig my brains out this time.

    maybe i should bring my uncertainties to sleep tonight (yes,hope i will see the light from meditating hard enough before i sleep,im resorting to any source of help possible). but i know, deep down, inside me, i'd already knew whats my main objectives and what i will experience from a whole new different life if i should i decide on either one. i just need confirmation. like if there's one person who would boldly tell me if i should stay or leave, that would help a great deal. erm..i think. (?)

    well...night night.

    background + mandalay
    simple things
posted by fries @ 4:41:00 AM
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