"dysfuctionally inspired"

Thursday, December 26



    i can't believe it. its my birthday tomorrow. eversince i turn 21, i dreaded it. or to use the right word, i hated it. im a capri, i love to be loved, and if i didn't recieve it i totally fucked it. its been 3 consecutive unhappy and dissapointing birthdays of anguish and rages and paranoir..u get my drift, and now, i'm totally freaking out! maybe the core of my annoyance came from expectance of love and surprises from whoever it may be, but let me warn you, its not as easy to please me when ITS MY BIRTHDAY. and to keep everything perfectly organised, plus the dissapointments of who does or does not remember the fucking day(or date?). i just hope everyone will forget it and let me get over it alone. coz i know no one else could ever please this(me) arrogant bitch, she a hard nut to crack, so hard, you wouldn't even want to touch it.

    *tears her hair while she rants further*

    and the surprises always leaked out(there's something wrong with these people of withholding a uptight surprise party),this time, its not a party, but i just found out that some are comming over to my club tonight. (see? thats why i say im such an anal when its my birthday.) was anyone listening when i say "hey, please, come any day to see my performance BUT not ON THURSDAY ok?" , am i even heard? oh fuck birthday, I HATE IT!! i don't want everyone to point their fingers at me and say "whys she so unhappy on her birthday?". the fact is, im a jovial person most of the time, i laugh as hard and clown myself to perk up everyone's life. and i don't want to ruin it on my birthday when im behaving like a bitch and sulking and harping on everything that gets on my nerves(on my birthday,everything its irking me).

    woo...*takes a deep breath*

    much better now..

    oh, did i mention that im also emotionally vulnerable? when its my birthday,basically,it means its weeping your hearts out day(ya, im am SO SO FUCKED UP). whether or not when things begins to poke me on my ass or when people warmed me with sweet intensions, i can't control or hold back. and the last thing i want on my birthday is to be a cry baby.

    *prays for the day to pass by in a snapped of her finger*

    SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!

    no chance..not even granting this. dammit.

    arghhhh...

    background + tori amos
    flood
posted by fries @ 3:23:00 PM
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